


The Unbearable Feeling of Being Perceived

by Constantine_You_Owe_Me



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Crushes, Gen, M/M, Pining, The Hanged Man (Dragon Age), Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 17:31:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21323989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Constantine_You_Owe_Me/pseuds/Constantine_You_Owe_Me
Summary: Anders is in love with Varric but absolutely cannot tell the dwarf being that it would possibly ruin everything about their friendship.One night out in the Hanged Man, Hawke mentions that he believes Anders has a crush and Varric just HAS to know who it is.Anders can only hope the ground opens up and swallows him whole.
Relationships: Anders/Varric Tethras
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	The Unbearable Feeling of Being Perceived

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Swowflake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swowflake/gifts).

**The Unbearable Feeling of Being Perceived**

  
  


"Anders you look troubled lately… well, more so than usual," Hawke stated his eyes watched the mage from over the rim of his mead stein. If they looked much longer he'd see a man crumble under the gaze like old ruins succumbing to battering winds buffeting old stone. 

He didn't like that. 

"Someone stolen your heart?" It was an offhand joke and Hawke laughed as he looked away hoping he had captured Fenris' attention with such an outlandish notion. 

No one was paying attention to Anders and he threw up a thank to The Maker, how funny to thank him as he continued to destroy all he held dear, all the while his hands wrung together under the table and he let out a nervous laugh. 

Too loud. Too long. 

Borderline sardonic had it not been for the fear that glanced over his eyes like the reflection of the sun. There then gone. 

Before long Hawke was getting to his feet, Fenris by his side, a stern demeanour softened by the flush on his skin from the alcohol coursing through his blood, the champion was enthusiastically retelling a story before he mentioned going on a late-night mission. Fenris caught him by the arm and tugged him to the door a small smile now playing on his lips as he spoke. 

"Your mission is to get home uninjured and go to bed." 

Anders followed their route through the bar with his eyes and did not look away from the two until they had exited into the frosty night, their arms wrapped around one another spirits bright. 

He jumped when Varric spoke.

"If I didn't know any better, and I do know better, I'd say Hawke was right, Blondie. Far be it for me to dig for gossip but you do seem out of it lately." There was concern there hiding amongst the words behind the amused and teasing tone. 

Fingers tighten around the mead stein Anders had been nursing the best part of the night and he stared at his fraught expression reflected in the amber liquid. Everything was fine… it was  _ fine _ and that was what he would tell Varric. 

Lying to his friend. Perfect. Wonderful. 

The mage let his focus slide to the dwarf sat beside him and immediately seized up when he realised Varric was still looking at him. Maker, it was unbearable to be seen to be known and to be read as easily as an open book!

“Healing people can take it out of you, Varric.” Anders sniffed almost snootily hoping the bad attitude would ward his friend off but, sadly, it did not. Varric’s stein hit the tabletop a little too hard to be an accident and he stared harder at him as though trying to read his mind. 

But, eventually, he relented and only shrugged at the mage forgoing words altogether in favour of lifting the stein back to his lips his focus on the group across the way. An imminent bar fight and Varric was loathe to miss such a thing, especially if he could add an interesting wager to sweeten the flying fists. 

“So, who is he?” Anders felt the blood drain from his face and his fingers went white with the force in which he now gripped his drinking vessel. Any harder and he was sure it would break.

“I knew there was someone but you’re afraid to say anything. Worried it’ll be in the next volume of Hard in Hightown?” A low chuckle was heard over the din of drunken men and women crowing at the two throwing punches. 

Finally, Anders turned fully to face his friend his shoulders were slumped physically admitting defeat in doing so. Varric never did have to try very hard to get information out of him but he trusted the dwarf and so with a deep breath he explained. 

“Someone we know very, very well. It is getting harder and harder to keep it to myself, Varric. I feel as though I could explode just trying to keep this to myself but I’m terrified that if I admit my feelings everything will go belly up and I’ll be left high and dry and with no friends to speak of.” 

After a beat of silence Varric only nodded and dropped the subject completely in favour of narrating the fight, his commentary drew a smile from Anders and put him at ease now that the conversation was no longer focused on his love life. 

As they were both leaving Varric caught Anders by the wrist, they almost never touched one another. In fact, Anders couldn’t recall many moments where any of the group touched one another aside from Fenris and Hawke…

It was alien to feel a warm hand around his wrist and it startled him for a moment at just how nice it felt. Immediately he repressed that thought and wriggled his wrist from his friend’s grip. 

“Come back for a drink. No sense in walking all the way back there when my place is closer.” It was a front for something else, Anders knew that. He wasn’t oblivious to the tone of voice Varric used it wasn’t forceful but there was no suggestion in his voice. 

He wasn’t asking Anders to join him, he was telling him to. 

There was no sense in arguing with the dwarf he would hear no end of it the next day if he did. 

“You can tell me all about this villain who has stolen the heart of my best friend. If we know this person, well, we can just sit them down and threaten them until they give you your heart back. We don’t tolerate thieves… well, maybe Isabela but she’s just so persuasive is it really stealing if you  _ want _ to give her your valuables?” 

This was a whole mess. An entire mess because, apparently, Anders didn’t know when to shut up and he admitted he was in love with Varric to the man’s face and now he had to try and divert the dwarf’s questions to make it seem as though it was not him. 

Great. Great. Great. 

Great! 

Maybe they could be attacked by bandits and never make it back to Varric’s home? 

Anders could only hope. 

  
  



End file.
